Learning to support when dementia hits
SUSAN Bower, of Scalby, has been looking after her 84-year-old mum, Eunice, since she was diagnosed with dementia four years ago. At first Eunice was treated for depression, as her husband had just died, but Susan believes her mum was already suffering with dementia at that time.
In September 2005, Eunice was officially diagnosed with vascular disease, which affects the blood supply to the brain causing cells to die off.
The process can sometime occur suddenly, following a stroke, but Eunice is one the many people who suffer from fairly frequent TIAs (transient ischaemic attacks) or "mini strokes" as they are more commonly known.
Since her diagnosis, Eunice's condition has deteriorated and she can no longer communicate or do any day-to-day tasks on her own such as eating, bathing, dressing or going to the toilet.
Susan, 62, said: "Physically mum is very fit – she can walk and dance, but she has forgotten how to do things like stand up when she's finished having a bath.
"She still looks the same, but it's not the same person in there. I feel that I have lost my mum, which is like going through a bereavement really.
"You have to try and stay on top of things and keep positive, but it can be very hard."
Susan added that as her mum looks "normal", people sometimes struggle to grasp how serious the condition can be.
For example, Eunice will try to pick up the television, pull out plugs or touch the hob of the cooker when it is red hot – all without any comprehension of how dangerous her actions are.
Eunice moved in with Susan and her husband Rodney three years ago, and now spends two days a week at the family home.
During the rest of the week she receives care at residential homes in Scarborough such as Prospect Mount and Norwood House.
Susan said: "The care is brilliant and I can tell that mum enjoys it. I'm really glad we got the arrangements in place early – we wanted to make sure she was used to getting out."
She is also full of praise for the support and advice she has received from the Scarborough branch of the Alzheimer's Society – which helps people with all kinds of dementia (not just Alzheimer's) and their families.
"Without them I don't know what I would have done – they have been amazing," Susan said.
"I wanted to know what was going to happen to her and I don't think books or the internet prepare you for the reality of it.
"I would beg others in the same situation to approach the society and seek help - it has given me my life back."
Susan has also had a huge amount of support from her husband, her son and daughter and her two grandchildren.
She said: "They have been fantastic - it just shows with the right help you can manage. Often people don't like to ask for help, especially the older generation, but people do not have to struggle on their own with this."
* For help and support with any form of dementia, contact the Scarborough branch of the Alzheimer's Society on (01723) 500958.
* Those in an unpaid caring role can also access support by contacting Scarborough & Ryedale Carers Resource on (01751) 473727.
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Thursday 24 May 2012
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