Over the painted half-moon bridge we'd trip and up the winding hill, seeking out our favourite attractions (Snow White for her, a puppet show for him, the youngest pointing and gurgling at everything), refusing to budge until our senses were sated and bedtime had been pushed back a good half hour.

Peasholm Lake is a magical place – a watery paradise of pleasure boats and pagodas, a place that for the sake of all our childhoods must never change. For the sake of all our futures, however, it must become the best version of itself it can possibly be. Thanks to Lottery money, an excellent parks and gardens department and the park's Friends group, the landscaping is approaching its former glory.

Which brings me to the café. It will do, won't it? It's good enough to give the holidaymakers a view and a warm drink, to fill their bellies with something the kids will actually eat – a piece of cake or a burger perhaps. But it wouldn't take much imagination to fulfil the promise of the Buddha that sits between the double row of steps up to its doors and attract the locals in, possibly even all year round.

George Alderson, the architect who designed the Pagoda and cascade on the island, would be delighted, I'm sure, to see the Japanese/English tea-room/institutional mess room interior upgraded to reflect the Japanese long-house architecture of the café building and the view across the lake.

I doubt he'd complain at an upgrade of the food either. If you're going to charge £6.45 for a burger, chips and an 'Americano', could you make sure we can actually taste one of the three (no, my taste buds weren't on strike: the salad still tasted like salad). If we're going to call coffee 'espresso', how about serving it from a still that has a fighting chance of producing a decent brew, rather than one of those ugly automated machines?

How about making the sandwiches on the spot, rather than having the pre-packed variety sit, barely visible, in a cold cabinet obscured by condensation? Or cakes on stands, rather than pre-packed in plastic? A daily, home-cooked special? A bistro in the evening?

Come on, Scarborough Council – a little (tasteful) imagination, please.

I know you can do it. I can lend you a book or two on Japanese design, and a few recipes, come to that, if you're stuck for inspiration …

Overall: ** (for falling so far short of its potential)

Value for money: **1/2